I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize