Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
