I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
