can u get pink eye on your cock?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
