I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
