So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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