I've blown a few things in my day
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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