he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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