North Korea, Best Korea!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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