Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
