U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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