Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize