Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At least make sure they are 18
Why
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
