would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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