I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Randomize
