I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
