The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
