Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
