i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
