this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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