You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
