I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
