I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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