All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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