omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
