Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
