Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize