I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what day is it and did you see me today?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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