I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
two words: eviction party
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
