Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
