Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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