Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
