I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
