At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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