I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
