you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
