Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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