I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize