Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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