He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
