You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize