Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Randomize
