a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
