just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
