Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize