yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
