I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
