Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And then my night got REAL pukey
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
