bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize