i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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