I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
