you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
