so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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