Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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