Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
