I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
