I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
