I want to have your abortion
my shit smells like andre
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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