She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
