and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
